Be Careful With Truthfulness After Infidelity Rebuilding two way communication following infidelity is vital. There is absolutely no genuine marriage if the you are merely conversing with one another regarding household business. Although this is important it should not be the only thing holding the spousal relationship together. A big part of that discourse is truthfulness. Your cheating spouse told many lies when they were cheating. If the marital relationship is going to be rebuilt then candor has to be front and center. Absolutely no more dishonesty and that includes not only actual words but also omission. Yet even with this you have to be careful. While truthfulness is most certainly the best policy, it can also be a trap which can easily cause more problems. The fact is if done improperly candor may well damage the relationship permanently. 1. Conversation Over Strained You decide to have a frank discussion with the cheating mate concerning the specifics of the marital affair. You are doing this in order to help you through the recovery process. So your mate begins revealing the details in a very graphic manner. It’s not too long before the anger you have been feeling makes an appearance. The description gets too much to bear and pretty soon you are having an emotional meltdown. Your anger has been unleashed and the two of you begin quarreling almost nonstop. After everything has subsided you realize that the marriage is finished. Or at the minimum you stay together yet from here on in it will be like sharing a house with a complete stranger. If you are really interested to learn the graphic details of the philandering then be ready to call timeout and walk away from the conversation. Taking it in small quantities can save you a lot of anxiety. You are presently under a strain you don’t need to contribute to it anymore than what’s currently there. Also remember that you do not always need to know the candid particulars of an extramarital affair to start the recovery process. It is sometimes best to not learn too much. 2. Exercising Truth As A Weapon After an affair you feel it’s your right to be judge and jury. And wow oh wow do you exercise that full right. You begin making use of the truth on your husband or wife like a blunt instrument. No matter what the topic you use it as an opening to explain to your mate everything that is wrong with them. From a specific thing they mentioned a long time ago to annoying habits that you kept quiet about for years. It is not long before your mate comes to the conclusion that two people can do this and the next thing you know truth grenades are being hurled at each other big time. That is certainly no way to heal after infidelity. In order to remain in the marriage takes honesty but when there is no sense of proportion to all of it then you may as well stop kidding yourself and start the divorce proceedings immediately. Telling the truth is intended to fix the relationship not to cause even more pain compared to what you have right now.