It took awhile but in the end your significant other admitted that they were having an extramarital affair. No surprise this news hit you pretty hard. You had no inkling that something like this was happening and in all honesty that is how it should be. You didn’t marry this person so you could spend every waking moment checking up on them. They like you stood in front of witnesses and vowed to be faithful. Now the real truth comes out that they haven’t been living up to their part of the marriage contract. Your spouse is effusive in their apology as well as asking for forgiveness. In addition to that they pledge to do everything in their power to try and rebuild the trust that has been destroyed due to their philandering. At this point you have several decisions to make including do you want to stay married to this person. However to survive this extramarital relationship there are a number of items you really need to stay clear of. 1. Surrendering Your Personal Self-Esteem The thing your mate did was horrible not to mention wounded you significantly. However don’t let it destroy your self-esteem by going to pieces. Your spouse deserves a lot of things but breaking you down is not one of them. Call upon the power you know is present inside of you. That doesn’t imply you can’t have a good cry at some point but do not give your spouse the satisfaction of doing away with your personal self-respect. 2. The Refusal To Let Go It is one thing to ask yourself why your spouse cheated. It is quite another to keep clinging to it. Your mate has been unfaithful and no matter what you tell yourself there comes a moment when you must come to grips with this inescapable fact. Many times the sufferer of cheating tries to tell themselves it is all an awful dream and things will return to normal. It will not and the only way to begin healing is to accept this basic reality. 3. Not Deciding Your Next Move You need time to digest this shocking news but you also need to begin looking at some of the options. You can’t walk around in a state of confusion for the rest of your life. Sooner or later you are going to have to determine not just about the future of the relationship but also how you are going to get on with the rest of your life. 4. Letting Other Folks To Decide For You You can obtain guidance from your social circle along with an audience to vent. The error is allowing these people to make up your mind for you. That’s a cop out. Yes they may have your best interest in mind but in truth it is up to you to make the tough choices concerning your life. Letting others to decide can put you in a position you don’t wish to be in which will in the long run make you feel a whole lot worse than what you are already feeling. 5. Engulfing Yourself In Self-Pity We all at some point in our lives feel sorry for what has been done to us but wallowing in self-pity isn’t going to help you in any way shape or form. There comes a time when you need to face what happened and put an end to feeling sorry for you. Self-pity does not alter the simple fact your mate cheated. Wallowing in it only delays your healing process. 6. Facing The Person Your Spouse Cheated With It may give you a bit of short lived satisfaction but essentially it is futile. Are they to blame? Yup but the lion’s share of the blame belongs to your mate. If it hadn’t been this individual you can believe it would have been somebody else so don’t spend your time and effort dealing with somebody who’s not even worth your while. 7. Getting Violent There was a news story recently of a spouse who drove quite a long distance and wound up killing her husband’s mistress. That is beyond foolish. So now the woman is probably heading to prison for the rest of her days and her cheating husband is just going to go find someone else to be with. Neither your spouse or the person they had an affair with is worth your freedom. Cry, scream and if you must break a few plates against the wall or on the floor but don’t under any circumstances get physical. Take care not to let your spouse’s selfishness lead you to do something that could ruin your life irreversibly.